Day 9 Weird or Funny

I think probably the funniest and/or weirdest single behavior is when people pretend to be something they’re not to attract a mate

It’s not well thought out… at some point you’re going to have to be yourself

You don’t want them disappointed in who that is.

Here’s Cinn 😄

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Conversations with myself

There comes a moment in life where you realize that the person you thought was larger than life was really just reckless… not brave.

You thought they lived life. Really lived. Bold. Free. Unafraid. You know, unlike you.

Now you realize that this was a lie you told yourself .

You are the strong one. You are the one strong enough to walk away. Strong enough to be alone year after year, and God knows how hard that is. You sacrifice yourself for others, but only to a point. Maybe that makes you selfish. You’re not sure.

You are sure that staying where love has gone is not for you. Been there, done that.. Lesson learned. You should have left sooner.

But you can’t make someone choose you. Especially when they can’t even choose themselves.

He loves you but he’s afraid. And he doesn’t love you enough to choose you. He never chooses you. You remind yourself of this almost daily.

He never chooses you.

You can’t continue to try to be a part of their life. It’s hurting your heart. You can tell yourself that you are their friend… you can try to emotionally distance yourself.

But you love him, and you have since that day you met oh so long ago. You were supposed to be together. You both knew it. You know it.

You still want it. You can lie to others but not to yourself.

How do you kill that feeling? That hope?

He’s weak. He’s selfish because he still wants to hang on to you, even in these small ways.

You are the strong one

He’s sick now. He needs her to take care of him. You know this.

You could walk away. You probably should.

But you won’t.

You can’t.

You’ll just let go… just a little bit. Just enough to try to ease the hurt. Just enough to go about the business of living. To try to move on.

Try to believe that it’s possible to be happy. To feel something anywhere near what you felt back then.

What you do know is that you have to start dating again. You have to give someone a chance to truly love you. You have to close the door on this and give your whole heart to the one who does choose you. They will deserve this.

So do you.

You’re the strong one. You always have been. You just see it now.

Day 8 The Five

#1

Heart

Kindness compassion empathy

Love of God, self, others and animals

#2

Intelligence

I am always trying to learn and grow. I need a partner who wants the same

#3

Humor

I think it’s very important to have a sense of humor in life… And to be able to laugh at yourself.

#4

It’s funny, it used to be that I would be able to make a list a mile long…

But, really I’m not sure anything else after these three makes much difference.

more like frosting on the cake

For a moment, I questioned if my list is shorter because I am growing older… Am I settling?

But No

I am gaining clarity. I am cutting out the noise

I am growing

Where – Day Seven

Well, that’s an easy answer.

No

Growing up, I always saw myself as married with kids… Nothing else but a wife and mother

Oh, I thought I’d have a house too… maybe a farm. That was my dream when I was married… And it’s never really gone away.

So, here I am… 49 and single. No children

No house.

I suppose I could… my rent is certainly enough to be comparable

Yet, I don’t want that on my own. Too much responsibility…

Doesn’t look like my picture. Doesn’t feel like my plan.

I have to believe there is a purpose… I know that I have inspired others with my journey. And I have to say, although my current destination is not where I would like to end up, I am certainly blessed.

I have become someone I am proud of

I was having a conversation with a good friend last week… she was talking about another person recognizing that she was special. Really special

I was thinking ” I want to be special too”

I realized later that this was foolish…

I AM special

I know this

Sometimes I forget it… Too many years of being single can wear the polish off your shine…

But it’s still there

I don’t know where I will be a year from now. Five years from now. Ten

I don’t know if children will be a part of my life. I don’t know if I will have a partner or husband… I don’t know if I will ever own a home

What I do know, is that the only thing that really matters is that I continue to live and grow in a healthy, positive way… that what I bring into the world is positive.

May I leave people and places better for having been there

❤️✨

The ❤️ life- Day Six

I’ve been thinking about this one for a while now.

I do believe that our lives are direct reflections of what we think and feel… First and foremost about ourselves.

So perhaps it would be more accurate to say our love lives are what we feel we deserve. They are what we bring about … or don’t …

I think people are complicated. Love maybe even more complicated.

What I do know is that the only love life I have at the moment is with myself, And with my friends. And though I do get lonely, my status as a single is largely out of personal preference.

I’m curious to hear other people’s thoughts