The Dark Night of the Soul: Understanding Amidst the Absence of Meaning

** Not Mine but posted for anyone who might find comfort or understanding

Have you ever felt alone in a meaningless universe, unable to bear going through the motions, having no sense of direction and feeling like you have lost all hope? You could be going through a ‘Dark…
— Read on medium.com/@thejoshuapress/the-dark-night-of-the-soul-understanding-amidst-the-absence-of-meaning-3494cb193bc2

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This Chapter

So, I have been wanting to adopt another dog ever since I lost Doc.

I wasn’t sure Wyatt really wanted or needed another dog. I wasn’t sure how I felt.

But with each passing day I felt more and more that he needed another dog, especially with the hours I work.

He has separation anxiety.. although I do suspect he also has “performance “anxiety for his momma 🤣

Yeah I’m wrapped around those paws 🐾 ❤️

So anyway I’ve been looking.. I messaged a shelter and was referred to two male dogs looking for a home.

But I hesitated because… two

And then one day my friend told me about a police officer who had died, and how his two dogs were at the shelter… And how I should go get them. She showed me their picture… same boys.

Only the shelter never mentioned the police officer. They told me a different story. Feels like there’s a reason why… But I don’t know what it is.

So then I saw the shelter post that they had been adopted… Separately.

And I was sad for them… And I kept looking.

There was another dog that I almost adopted.

She was super sweet, and did really well in her meet and greet with Wyatt and I.

She was one of the sweetest dogs I’ve ever met… But something wouldn’t let me do it.

Maybe it is residual affect from Maggie – the dog I had to put down due to trauma aggression .

But I just felt uneasy about Wyatt with her when I was gone … and I couldn’t take the chance.

So in the meantime, both boys had been returned to the shelter. Turns out they had terrible separation anxiety, and became destructive.

I couldn’t get them out of my mind… so one day I asked a friend for advice, and she told me to meet them… And then I would know.

So I loaded Wyatt up and we went… and I fell in love. They immediately came to me for love and the shelter team said they normally didn’t let people touch them.

Wyatt was initially scared and barked in his terrier way, but quickly was wagging tails and sniffing butts.

It was done.

And they were two of the sweetest dogs ever. Not potty trained, and not good on a leash… And one of them seemed to have no experience being handled

But Wyatt was a great teacher.!

However, I live in an apartment… And quickly realized that three dogs was overwhelming, Even if the dogs were wonderful.

I thought about it. I knew that I could keep them… But I also knew that it wasn’t in my best interest… And if it wasn’t in mine, it wasn’t going to be for them either..

And so I reached back out to the shelter, and was told that they had a great rescue group who would take them.

I was going to take them back alone, but Wyatt was not having it! So I loaded him up too…. we said our goodbyes, and I told them how happy I was to have been a part of their adventure… And I knew they were going on to a great life.

When we got back to the shelter, the boys were treated like they were returning home… It was obvious they were well loved there.

Wyatt went home with me and seemed to be ok , but then for the next couple of days, he had accidents.

And that’s ok. I understood.

We are still looking for the next family member…

I know I need to be careful in this decision.

I do feel like I made a mistake… But I also learned a good lesson.

I didn’t sacrifice myself endlessly for a decision. I recognized when something was overwhelming to me… That it was OK to say I bit off more than I could chew..

I wish I was a bigger part of their story… Or they in mine…

But at the same time, I really like this chapter. This chapter shows growth.