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Some magic moments

I have been going through some emotional darker spells these last couple weeks… and on Monday I felt compelled to go to the lake, even though it was overcast and supposed to rain.

As soon as I got there, I felt better. The clean air… My feet in the water… Listening to the birds… And then all of a sudden I saw a honeybee in the lake. It was clearly still alive, but exhausted and close to drowning.

I scooped it up and laid it on a rock, far from the water.

Since the day was cold and overcast, it took a long time for it to dry out and warm up enough to fly off… but eventually it did

I’m not sure how a little bee wound up in the lake… but I was sure I was supposed to find it.

And then when I was standing in the water, a butterfly came and flew all around me… Literally made my heart joyful.

But definitely not a visitor I’d expect there….

And then today…. it’s pouring rain and I’m outside with my dogs. We find a beautiful blue dragonfly in a puddle of water… obviously brought down by the storm.

I picked it up and carried it into a foyer area that was dry. Again, took a long time to be able to fly away but eventually it did.

( not my dragonfly or pic but close )

So, both times water brought me special visitors… and I’m a Scorpio, so water is fitting.

I find the symbolism of these interesting and thought I’d share.


So the day of the wedding, I made time to go visit a metaphysical store near me. I have been wanting to go for some time now …

I entered feeling nervous and awkward. I started to go through the various rooms… and then went back and asked the clerk if I was allowed to wander… Since I was basically already doing that LOL.

I could tell that in doing this, that I also put him at ease.

So I looked around, and at the very end of my visit I went to look at the jewelry section close to check out. He told me to let him know if I wanted to see something…

Which I did. Immediately I was drawn to a good-sized purple pendent.

When I told him what I wanted to see, he laughed and told me people have been drawn to it for the last week….

Which is perfect because I was feeling particularly anxious and depressed.

He and I made jokes about Venus being in Scorpio… it’s making people ( like me ) feel crazier than usual.

I don’t know enough to expand on this. I am definitely a beginner level… But I find it very interesting.

In any case, I bought it ❤️

I don’t care if it’s all in my head. Wearing it makes me feel at peace.

Maybe it’s the natural lithium 😜

Plus it’s beautiful


So, guy #2 Seems to be out. At the very least, he’s not trying too hard

My intuition told me that he had unfinished business… and I don’t think that has changed. I’m close to writing him off… But not entirely there yet.

I’m waiting for him to try. But mostly I’m waiting for me to completely give up and let go.

So… he texts but with huge time gaps. I HATE that. Now granted, we have not even met… So I do keep that in mind… But still. That makes me think his time and effort is going in the pursuit of some other female. I’ll be honest that’s what I think.

This last one I didn’t respond to… I was already annoyed that the response was 24 hours later… And then it felt like an ego trip.

He has not texted me again. So maybe that’s it.

I don’t know. Kind of sick of being stuck in the Smalltalk zone anyway.

So, I don’t think he’s a bad guy. I just think we are Probably at different points in life.

And that’s OK.

I’m disappointed. I am tired. I feel like I was open to possibility with him and I am proud of that. It’s something

But, I’m also sick of trying and being disappointed.

I don’t understand why this is so easy for others.

And yes I know I’m feeling sorry for myself right now… I need to get this out here so I can release it from my brain… so allow me a little pout in my own space.

I’m actually spending the day helping a friend get ready for her wedding tomorrow.

It’s probably the last thing I feel like doing… But I know it’s what I need to do.

So getting in the shower and hoping to find some peace and joy today.



I’ll be honest, I hate the term broken when it comes to people…. although I have referred to myself that way in the past.

Now, I see people as broken when they are psychologically damaged. Like a psychopath.

Anyway… That said… I kind of love this.

Thoughts ?

Out of the brush

Today was one of those days… Not quite happy, not quite depressed. Overcast weather. No plans or contact with friends.

I made myself take the dogs for a walk. I told myself during the first few steps that the physical exertion would soon produce endorphins that would make everything better.

It was dusk. We were approaching our favorite trail, and in the distance I saw movement. I could make out ears… And I saw little patches of white. At first I thought I might be seeing deer.

We went to higher ground to try to see better. I was excited to see that it was several animals… and realized it was a pack of coyotes.

I watch them creep along the brush.. they pop out briefly and slink back into the brush…

I watched them until I could hardly see them anymore.

I thanked God for showing me such an awesome sight.

I’m feeling pretty alone today, but somehow watching a family of coyotes make their way through the brush made it bearable.

It’s the little things

* Picture from the Internet. I’m not sure who it’s credited to…