Slow and Steady Crush

Last summer I was not in a great place. I was fresh from the break up of what I thought was going to be a forever relationship…I was hurt and I was angry.

I started dating again… I was going to describe those experiences….. but this post isn’t about that.

So, I’ll just say that this only served to make me feel more depressed, anxious and unhappy. Plus, I was working a crazy amount of hours at my new job…. and so I came to the conclusion that I was going to just take a break from men and dating.

It wasn’t all that long after this, that my friend started to talk to me about a guy she knew…how she wanted to introduce us. Only she lives in Hawaii, and we live in Texas….

So, she told me his name and that she told him about me. He was going to send me a friend request on Facebook. Ok. Great. Good.

Then nothing. And more nothing. And then some more nothing.

Just when I had pretty much all but forgotten about it, he sent me one. I accepted it.

More nothing. I think a few more weeks went by and then he sent me a Trivial Pursuit request. Ok, cool. I play.

Well, we played… and we played… and we played…. But really what I should say is that he wiped the floor with me. Each and every time.

So I started to feel pretty dumb. And then embarrassed… and then kind of mad that I felt this way. So, I decided to stop playing. I declined his next game request.

Then I sent him a Words with Friends request, and we played that a bit. Only one or two. Not really his thing. Or mine to be honest.

More time goes by… We interact more and more on Facebook. A like here or there. Maybe a comment.

Now here we are, almost a year later. We still haven’t met. There has been no romantic talk… no uh, adult talk… nothing but just getting to know each other little by little. Day by day and post by post.

What I have found is that this guy is a really good match for me. We seem to click on so many things. Our politics, our sense of humor, our flirting style ( lack of style really ) is the same… our backgrounds are similar.

I have been really touched by how much attention he pays to things I like or say. He remembers things I like. I can tell he listens to me. That makes me feel good… important.

We have progressed to private messages now. These are sporadic too. Mostly we have conversations on one another’s facebook posts. I sometimes wonder if anyone else has noticed this. If they have…what do they think? But honestly it doesn’t really matter…. it’s just a passing curiosity.

I’m totally ok with that. The whole speed between us has been perfect. I needed time to breathe…to heal. To be able to be open to love again.

It’s weird at 47 to say I have a crush on someone, but I do. I like this guy.

My friend says that he is gearing up to ask me out. I can tell… he drops lots of hints. I’m not going to jump on them though. I want him to pursue. I want him to ask when he is ready.

Yes, I’m kind of old fashioned that way.

If this works out, he’s my tortoise. I thought I wanted a lobster…but maybe what I really needed was a tortoise.

*Note… this is a teeny bit dated. Next part of the tale to come…
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