** I wrote this ten months ago, fresh on the heels of heartbreak. I never posted here (it was on previous blog ) because I have spent the past year cutting myself off from anything and everything related to DD/lg. I’m sad to say that even included friends. It was just too painful. To be honest, it still is. I don’t know that I ever want another DD/lg relationship and a year ago I would have sworn it was all I ever wanted…..But that level of dependence….of vulnerability. It was too much. For me, for us… and it has been so hard to come back from….
Anyway, that said….
So you think you want a little girl?
So you are a Dom and you come across a sub who catches your interest. You find that she is also a little. You don’t know exactly what that means…But you’re interested, and so you find out.
At first you think it’s really cute. She likes Hello Kitty…teddy bears. No big deal. She likes sparkly things and gets excited about simple pleasures.
She likes to color pictures….says it makes her happy and relieves stress.
You love that when you are with her, she sees the world with the same excitement that a child has. She never outgrew that wonder. It makes you feel more joyful….You see life in a different way.
But you notice that she often interrupts you when you are talking….not because she means to…. not because she is on the same subject you are and wants to add to the discussion…. but because she saw a deer in the woods and excitedly wants to point it out to you.
Now it’s not so cute, but a bit annoying. She understands. She tries hard to be better, but it’s really hard….because that part of her is not big.
Life goes on and you grow closer… You thought you realized what a big responsibility it is being a Daddy Dom to a little, but you really didn’t.
A Dom has a lot of responsibility to their submissive. Being a Daddy Dom to a little has even more. A little is vulnerable in a way that you can never comprehend fully until you’re one, or with one who loves and trusts you.
You didn’t really want that much responsibility. You find it overwhelming and shut down. You don’t talk about it because you don’t want to hurt your little.
But she feels it. A little is a tuned in radar to their Daddy. They know instinctively when something is not right.
At night you play games and then turn away and go to sleep. She hugs her teddy bear tight to not feel so alone and scared.
You look over and see this, and it turns you off even more. You don’t understand this, as you used to find it sweet and endearing. You gave her the bears…. but now you ask her what she gets out of it.
She feels the message in the question. It stings. But she tells you that it’s like when you cuddle a puppy….that’s what she gets out of it.
She sees the glimmer of understanding in your eyes and hopes….it’s so hard to show people who you really are, and face being judged. She gave you everything that she is. Please don’t judge her harshly.
And then the day comes where you have a fight and you tell her that your place is not going to be filled with sparkles and polka dots. Her mind wonders where the polka dots came from? But it hurts. He thinks you’re silly and stupid and have no taste. At least that’s what her heart hears.
Then you call her a child. And not in a good way. She’s angry…. but the anger comes from hurt. She knows that she is childlike….but she thought you knew what an amazing woman and sexual being she is also. But you don’t.
You saw her as amusing. Something that made you feel good, because that is something littles are great at…..But, you wanted easy.
Real life shows up for everybody. Sometimes real life for littles ( ok not sometimes….most of the time ) is scary. When she is scared, she turns to you. She shows you all of her vulnerability….Her fears… Her tears….
You feel even more overwhelmed…. you feel responsible for her well being. In a way you are. But mostly she just needs you to be there. To hold her hand, and make her feel safe.
She has taken care of herself for a long time. She has had to be big…to be strong. But she trusted you enough to let down that shield, and believed you when you said you would always take care of her.
She knows that she is a lot. She knows that she is needy. She tries hard to be less little.
She wonders how all the things that you said you loved about her in the beginning, are the things that cause you to not want to touch her now.
She has always thought she was too much. She always felt different. She has been told that the things she loves are for kids and she should just grow up.
When you call her a child, or tell her that she can’t be a parental figure to your children because she is a little…. it cuts right down to her core.
A little is very sensitive. They don’t have a thick skin, even if they pretend to the world that they do.
She will probably never forget your words.
She will do anything to make you happy. Turn herself inside out.
You cut her off sexually. You don’t touch her. You don’t let her please you.
You leave her alone more and more.
Want to see a little unravel? That’s the formula
Want to keep your little happy? Just love them. If you are ever a Daddy Dom lucky enough to have a little who wants to be yours, hold on and don’t let go.
Don’t just read some blogs and posts on Fet Life and think you’re ready and done. More than anything else, a relationship with a little is just that…. a relationship.
It takes work. Hard work and lots of it.
Like any relationship. So let me say that again. Hard work and lots of it.
The rewards are great.
But it’s not going to be a kinky romance novel every day of the week….. In fact, most of the time it won’t be. We live in the real world after all.
But those times that it is….
- This is a composition of relationships, not just one. It’s food for thought for any Dom looking at a relationship with a little.
** I write as little/sub/female dealing with a male Daddy Dom as that is my personal perspective. These could and would also apply to other sexes and dynamics