Part 1 … Uh what ?

First glance. Not really my type… But I’m trying to be open-minded and so I agreed to the chat.

Very aggressive, and pushing to meet immediately to determine chemistry.

I alternated between liking some things about him and being turned off , when this message came : 


So, I called and we had a nice conversation. He felt used by the women he’d dated so far. I get it. You actually hear about it all the time from people on these dating sites… There are plenty of bad things to be said on both sides of the aisle.

He did push to meet, but I had plans that evening. Agreed to see if we could work something out for the next day.

Everything ended fine. He called me later that evening, and again invited me out. At this time it was 9:45 PM and I had no desire to leave the house. 

He made some comments about wanting to have fun every minute he was out of work… How he would figure out his opportunities to have it… Some comment about being a bad boy… And we hung up

To be continued 

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5 thoughts on “Part 1 … Uh what ?

    1. Fair enough. I have my own walls obviously… But I don’t desire to fight through 1 million angry toned comments about women cause you had a bad experience.

      I don’t know…maybe I’m just not willing to put in the work? It leaves me wondering am I just like the other guy

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  1. I completely miss read that exchange then! Oh my gosh! I had the two of you completely backwards. So, first – I’m so sorry for the way that tone was there.

    Now, having said that, I’m sure that when I get out there I will feel like I’m going to be very guarded myself and I suspect they probably anyone my age I’ll be dating may be as well. I guess it’s simply the balance of finding out and understanding where each other’s landmines are and how long those conversations go on before the walls start to come down at all. I don’t think it’s realistic to expect for them to come down right away and I don’t think you think that either. Being vulnerable is so hard. It’s so hard with someone you know and trust, let alone with someone you were just getting to know. And really all we have to go on other than our gut instincts and what we have lived through in the past. So let me ask this because I’m way out of order, has this conversation about walls etc. been going on for a while? Do you feel like the walls are there and they will always be there?

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    1. No worries. I’m fine with self reflection 😄
      Sometimes I need to be checked!

      I think walls was the wrong word to use here… But basically just a major chip on his shoulder right from the start.

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      1. OK, I think that’s a totally different thing then. Those chips have a tough time getting off of there. And often when they do they reveal something not very attractive or expected.

        I used to think that MC still had many many unresolved issues with both of his ex-wives. Issues that he was not “holding against me,” but blocks that he just couldn’t seem to get past and was dragging around into our future. So in that way, he had a bit of a chip on his shoulder when it came to the way he talked about them that always made me uncomfortable.

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