When you’re hot… You’re on fire…

Yeah not the totally sexy I’m on fire….

The kind of on fire that feels like you are slowly cooking from the inside out.. And every so often the heat feels like a spontaneous combustion is imminent… Your skin is hot to touch. But cold sweats. Skin can flush.

Sound sexy? Yeah… It’s not.

Now picture yourself on a date.

I strategically dress as cool as possible… Which combined with the Texas heat is no small task.

Look for places with fans. Bonus points if you can find a place with water misters.

Give yourself credit for even getting asked out on the date in the first place.  That whole over 40 and single thing.. Feel like week old bread on the clearance rack some days. Even on a good day I still fall firmly in the “ma’am ” category and it sucks.

What else??? 

Thanks to menopause, and night sweats, you haven’t been sleeping well… Leading to mood swings and irritability!! 

Ding Ding irritable … Like when your date takes their phone and spins it around on the table like a top, with the video recorder on… Just to show you what they think is a cool thing… And you want to smash said cell phone…. And then ask him exactly what grade of junior high school he was stuck in because… Well because stupid.

Still composed?

You tell your date about menopause, and hot flashes because the heat has eaten what’s left of your brain.

Yeah I don’t know what made you think THAT was a good idea.

So here comes the inevitable question… Are you still interested in sex? Because of course you are on a date, and sooner or later this guy is looking to get laid.

Still interested in sex? Who knows. It’s been a year and a half now. Thankfully ( I guess ) I have no problem with dryness… But I have not even had interest in masturbation…the connection between thought and deed is never made anymore.

Maybe because I don’t sleep well and I’m too fucking tired??? Or is that irritable? 😄

That doesn’t bode well for him. Neither does the fact that the stupid cell phone trick burned up whatever amount of attraction I once had.

No kiss goodnight. Don’t want to be hugged because I don’t need any additional body heat.

On way home I notice my smell. Yeah that heat/perspiration… It ain’t pretty.

I’m not sure how you bring sexy back. But I’m trying. 

I did find these and although it’s four big horse pills, I did get some relief today.

These seem to help me at night.. Although I don’t sleep through the night, it’s better.

Anyway…. I can’t really speak to menopause affecting stress or anxiety, as those are my normal.

Ditto with memory… Due to my strokes several years ago, my memory is like Swiss cheese as it is… I wouldn’t be likely to notice much there.

Anyway…. That’s my reality at the moment.

Some of us girls are on fire ❤️ 


16 thoughts on “When you’re hot… You’re on fire…

  1. Oh, I struggled with dryness for awhile post surgery, probably the whole first year. I managed a couple of funny incidents from it but it was awful and painful and humiliating. I mean my doctor actually said, “your vagina is dying.” What? Occasionally, it is still a problem…which I hate explaining to a man, because I don’t want it to seem as though I’ve issued a challenge for him, like he can make me wet when it isn’t happening on my own.
    So odd to have conversations about hot flashes and dryness and memory loss. It doesn’t feel date worthy. But my Sir says it is because all of me is worthy of his care. That helps.
    Write a book as a comment, obviously, the subject hits home.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sure my day of dryness is coming… But honestly I’ve always been so far the opposite, that a bit of that would be welcome.

      I don’t want a man to see it as a challenge. I don’t think ? But just a part of life

      Any products you find/found helpful ?


  2. I am right along side you with the hot flashes. Dryness is an issue and I have use Replens and it has helped a lot. They say exercise helps but I have not felt a big difference. It does take longer to get aroused and it helps too if it’s rougher. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I love that you gave a face to something so many struggle with! Yes, we have to laugh at ourselves and need our friends to laugh along but it is another part of the struggle we face being single and dating in our 40’s.

    Yes, your body may be on fire but honey…you’ve always been hot and sexy and there is no denying that (giggle)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh sweetie, i’m so sorry about the menopause and the Texas heat. Joy and i are muddling through the muggies up here, too. As far as the date, you cain’t fix stupid! 💜

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I took AM/PM PeriMenopause Formula – just one am and one PM and it helped tremendously. Made by Enzymatic Therapy. I don’t think I can share a photo here in comments …. But I’ll send it separately if you like. Hang in their Doll!!


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