I made some hard choices over the weekend… It was to cut ties with a couple people.
The first one was the guy I liked recently, who told me he liked someone else better… I wanted to stay friends.
I accepted his Facebook friend request… Why?
So I have been quietly stalking his page. Until this weekend, when he and this girl put a post on Facebook about their date night.
It really wasn’t anything significant… But it made me stop and question why I was doing this… And why I was so concerned about a guy I had two dates with.
It’s not that I love this guy. I don’t. I think it is that I felt comfortable with him… And that for me is uncommon.
But, it didn’t feel good… And I have to make smarter decisions for myself, and my heart. So I deleted him off my friend list.
Another something I’m not so proud of… I did go to his page this morning… But was surprised to see everything is now set for friends only. This is a new development.
Honestly, I am glad he did it. Now I can go on with my life. Stupid as that sounds…
The next choice was harder. I decided to cut ties with FH. We have been friends through the last year… And I do have to give him credit for being there for me a few times when I needed someone to talk to.
Not staying friends with exes is new for me. It’s hard to let go of someone that you used to love… Someone that you thought was going to be your forever.
Like any relationship, we both made mistakes. But, he gave up on me and us… he feels he tried. I really don’t.
But none of that matters anymore anyway…
The fact of the matter is, I can’t truly move on with my life until I completely let go of my past.
I have to be honest and say there were points throughout this last year where I hoped he and I would give it another go… Granted these times were very short-lived, but they were still there… And that is not good for me.
I imagine he had some of the same feelings… ?
In any case, I did message him briefly to let him know. There is a lot of history there… So I felt like he deserved that versus the other person.
But then, I did something stupid. I sent him another message… I felt like someone needed help that he would be particularly good at giving… And I let him know.
I keep wrestling in my mind with whether I should or shouldn’t have… I don’t know. What I do know, is that I can’t do that anymore.
Honestly, knowing that we won’t talk anymore does make me sad.
PS no negative comments please about my exes. This is not going to be that 😄