That’s the thing

I made some hard choices over the weekend… It was to cut ties with a couple people.

The first one was the guy I liked recently, who told me he liked someone else better… I wanted to stay friends.

I accepted his Facebook friend request… Why?


Yeah… Because I hoped he would change his mind. I feel kind of pathetic actually admitting that… But it’s true.

So I have been quietly stalking his page. Until this weekend, when he and this girl put a post on Facebook about their date night.

It really wasn’t anything significant… But it made me stop and question why I was doing this… And why I was so concerned about a guy I had two dates with. 

It’s not that I love this guy. I don’t. I think it is that I felt comfortable with him… And that for me is uncommon.

But, it didn’t feel good… And I have to make smarter decisions for myself, and my heart. So I deleted him off my friend list.

Another something I’m not so proud of… I did go to his page this morning… But was surprised to see everything is now set for friends only. This is a new development.

Honestly, I am glad he did it. Now I can go on with my life. Stupid as that sounds…

The next choice was harder. I decided to cut ties with FH. We have been friends through the last year… And I do have to give him credit for being there for me a few times when I needed someone to talk to.

Not staying friends with exes is new for me. It’s hard to let go of someone that you used to love… Someone that you thought was going to be your forever.

Like any relationship, we both made mistakes. But, he gave up on me and us… he feels he tried. I really don’t.

But none of that matters anymore anyway…

The fact of the matter is, I can’t truly move on with my life until I completely let go of my past.

I have to be honest and say there were points throughout this last year where I hoped he and I would give it another go… Granted these times were very short-lived, but they were still there… And that is not good for me.

I imagine he had some of the same feelings… ?

In any case, I did message him briefly to let him know. There is a lot of history there… So I felt like he deserved  that versus the other person.

But then, I did something stupid. I sent him another message… I felt like someone needed help that he would be particularly good at giving… And I let him know.

I keep wrestling in my mind with whether I should or shouldn’t have… I don’t know. What I do know, is that I can’t do that anymore.

Honestly, knowing that we won’t talk anymore does make me sad.


But that’s the thing. 

PS no negative comments please about my exes. This is not going to be that 😄

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29 thoughts on “That’s the thing

  1. Good for you!
    I am still in contact with G, very irregularly, but I had already decided in my mind there was never going to be a ‘let’s try again’.
    Other people, exes, I have little to no contact with. That’s the way it should be for me. They have nothing to bring me nor I them.
    Good for you for recognising what is good for yourself and the sort of person you want to be.
    XO
    XO

    Liked by 1 person

    1. For sure!!! We deserve to be happy… Not tied up in angst over someone who didn’t choose us!!

      So we have to choose ourselves! I think I am finally getting it now. Hugs to you too

      Like

  2. I never kept up with exes (except the ex hubby and only because of the kids) so I can’t imagine how hard it would have been to cut ties after so long. Sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves is also the hardest. ((HUGS))

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Great observation! I was still chatty with my ex until recently when it dawned on me that he wasn’t going to change and suddenly wake up and turn his life around. I realized that I was being naive when I thought that my leaving would be the catalyst for change. I didn’t want to get back together with him, GOD NO, but I selfishly thought that he’d see the errors in his ways and correct them. As soon as I accepted that he not only wasn’t going to do that but that his behaviors could now continue unchecked,) I stopped being disappointed and could let go. Bravo for you Cinn!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Those choices are hard, but necessary for growth, I think.
    Weekend before last, I finally cut ties with someone I was hopelessly in love with…the emphasis being on “hopeless”
    It was hard, and I still cherish our time together, but it’s time to move on. I’m not getting any younger here!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, these thoughts linger about my first love. I wonder if I need to let go there too…. But then I’ve done that before and then years later we cross paths again.
      I don’t know. I do know it sucks and I’m glad for you that you could and did…
      I hope you find love ❤️

      Like

  5. i’m sorry that even though your D/s relationship with FH didn’t work that y’all couldn’t stay connected as friends. Hugs. 💜

    Like

    1. I don’t know of many couples who are able to make it work as friends that were once in love and talking marriage.
      For that matter, I honestly don’t know that many couples that stay friends at all after they break up… I have done that too many times in life, at my own emotional expense.
      While i am sorry too, I also think it is for the best.

      Hugs back 😄❤️

      Like

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