Last night I did a brief meditation sending love energy to my first love. I’ve written about him several times, here and in old blogs. Anyone remember “The Whip” ?
Anyway, although I have not finished our story….. the short version is that we have remained close for 17 years. We had periods of little or no contact… And periods where we did talk frequently.
We are in a in between state at the moment.
It doesn’t matter how long or how short… Nothing ever changes. It’s always easy between us.
He is separated/divorcing… and involved in a business that keeps him off the grid.
Every so often he surfaces, and messages me….
Today, I had to stop and wonder if he felt me last night…. did he feel my energy, my love?
On some level I believe he did.
Today I see that when he comes up for air, it’s always me he seeks.
Today he flirted with me. I flirted back.
I don’t know where this will go. I’m trying not to worry about that.
I will continue sending love to him. Not romantic love, although that’s a part of it for sure.
Just love. Because he needs it.
Meanwhile life goes on. I’m debating sticking my toes back into dating. I’m lonely. I need the interaction.
I need to address my needs in a healthy way… feed the physical urges a bit so I’m not in starvation mode….
Better to make choices when you’re balanced.