Hello Again

Last night I did a brief meditation sending love energy to my first love. I’ve written about him several times, here and in old blogs. Anyone remember “The Whip” ? 

Anyway, although I have not finished our story….. the short version is that we have remained close for 17 years. We had periods of little or no contact… And periods where we did talk frequently.

We are in a in between state at the moment.

It doesn’t matter how long or how short… Nothing ever changes. It’s always easy between us.

He is separated/divorcing… and involved in a business that keeps him off the grid.

Every so often he surfaces, and messages me…. 

Today,  I had to stop and wonder if he felt me last night…. did he feel my energy, my love?

On some level I believe he did. 

Today I see that when he comes up for air, it’s always me he seeks. 

Today he flirted with me. I flirted back. 

I don’t know where this will go. I’m trying not to worry about that.

But, I know that the best thing for now is to continue practicing restraint ( the non fun kind ) 
He could go back to her. He could meet someone new. 

I will continue sending love to him. Not romantic love, although that’s a part of it for sure. 

Just love. Because he needs it. 

Meanwhile life goes on. I’m debating sticking my toes back into dating. I’m lonely. I need the interaction.

I need to address my needs in a healthy way… feed the physical urges a bit so I’m not in starvation mode….

Better to make choices when you’re balanced.

10 thoughts on “Hello Again

  1. I love this.
    It’s always hard to know where we’ll get. But sending love to someone is never a bad thing. Especially if it’s the sort of love that doesn’t expect anything in return. Hoping for something in return is fine, but expecting it is bound to lead to hurts…
    My opinion/experience 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  2. We all want to love and be loved. It is so easy with that first love of our lives. It feels like you are wrapping yourself in your grandmother’s quilt

    Liked by 2 people

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