Some of my kink followers have seen my profile on Fet Life. It’s repellant actually. Intentionally. Originally after my break up from FH, it was even MORE repellant… but I did soften it the tiniest bit recently. That’s after I realized I couldn’t run anymore from who I am deep in my core. That is a submissive woman. And a seriously kinky one.
I want very much to fall in love… to have a life partner. I want that to mean marriage, as I believe in marriage… but I often have doubts. My depression whispers to me that I will always be alone. My friend Little Scarlet told me to stop voicing that… stop putting that into the universe… and I know she’s right, so I am trying.. but that ugly voice is always there.
ANYWAY, I’m getting off topic.
I received the nicest message nine days ago. Completely vanilla, sweet and respectful. I was instantly intrigued. And surprised.
Who was this man that wasn’t scared off by my profile? He’s different.
He has my attention.
And he has followed it up with more of the same… I have found myself opening up with him. Being vulnerable. That doesn’t happen off blog.
And attracted. Oh, so attracted…
Last night he told me that he was glad he followed his intuition about me. That there was gold behind my barrier. ❤
It’s hard to stay grounded… to be mindful that I’ve only known him nine days. A switch has been flipped, and the things I thought I killed in me are shining bright and he makes them feel beautiful.
And my intuition… my gut… it says to go for it. Completely. That’s new. Being an empath, I can feel people. When I make mistakes, it is because I ignore my feelings. Make excuses for people. Wish things were other than what they are…
I’m going to be careful. I’m going to try to be slow and smart. But he gives me butterflies … He catches my breath in my chest.
We meet on the 14th, as he is out of town.
Until then… Here’s something I am going to be thinking a lot about…. Ladies, you feeling me on that one? Nice manly hands. Mhmmmmm