Things with the new guy have been good. Like so good… Too good to be true kind of good.
I get scared. I over think. And once I got started this morning, things spiraled out of control. I was in full spin with no one to catch me.
Why didn’t I talk to my girls? I don’t know.
Instead, I spewed a bunch of emotional vomit on him.
And after I sent it… The reality of what I did started sinking in… But it was too late
And once he started to respond, it really sunk in
Let’s just say he was upset. Which, trust me, he had every right to be.
So instead of being on a great second date with him, I am home with swollen eyes and mascara stains.
I did this
I think on some level I feel unworthy of love. Which sucks, because I really thought my self-esteem was in a better place
He will be away for a while traveling… and I hate that he will be leaving on this note…
But, the good news is… He didn’t walk away. He was very thoughtful to do what he thought was best for us both… and he communicated with me openly, honestly, and respectfully.
I messed up. But what I realized today is what I could be losing by living in fear.
So I am taking this time tonight to rest and reflect as he suggested… And then tomorrow, I am setting out to get my man. Because I won’t lose him to my fear.