I can feel peoples energy. Almost without exception. But more than just their energy, or to put in a different way… I can feel what they feel.
Especially their feelings towards me.
It makes it easy for me to get overwhelmed… To loose sense of my own emotions.
To feel helpless in the face of adversity..
There are things that we can do… meditation, sleep, nature, exercise….But sometimes I forget this.
Yesterday was one such day.
Add to it, I have high expectations for the people in my life. I don’t know how to put it exactly… I don’t have people on pedestals anymore… I don’t have the strictest of moral codes and values… At least I don’t think, based on my own mistakes in life…
I guess the only thing I can think of, is I expect people to do no harm. Something that I clearly don’t always live by either.
And I expect people to learn from their mistakes… To be better… To do better.
I found some things out about someone in my life that was extremely disappointing. I don’t know if I want this person to continue in my life or not… which makes me extremely sad… And also confused, because we have a fairly loose friendship as it is. Why do I care so much?
I guess because they already let me down…or maybe because I want to believe they are better than they really are.
I’m still somewhat lost in my thoughts. All I know, is that I am tired.
But I’m trying to remember what and who brings light to my days and heart.