In the last few months, I have started buying them each week. I always admire them when I’m in the store… I buy them for other people… But something inside kept me from buying them for myself…
There are a myriad of reasons and shame for the why not… but I decided to break that thought process. I bought myself the flowers. I continue to buy the flowers. Each week my kitchen table is adorned with a beautiful bouquet of flowers…. usually wildflowers.
I love wildflowers. I identify with them.
Their beauty is all their own.. each one slightly different than the next.
One thing I especially love about wildflowers is their strength. They grow in some of the least desirable terrain… under the least desirable conditions… and when you cut them, they still can live a long time
Compare that to the orchid… the lily…
sure, those have their place… And they definitely have their admirers
My mind goes to visions of these being “kept” versus the wildflower who is expected and appreciated for blooming freely….
that’s who I am. That’s what I need.
There is a place in the world for both.
That’s always been my truth. My secret.
I have had many opportunities for relationships… I had other opportunities even for marriage.
I’ve chosen other paths. Sometimes consciously, sometimes not.
I remember thinking once last year, that I am very similar to the animal who will chew their own paw off to escape…
What I didn’t realize then, is that it was perfectly OK for me to not want a man in my life. It is perfectly ok to want one… on my terms.
I’m blooming again. I’m feeling beautiful again ( not just physically- but as a person- my soul is opening again to life )
This has been the best year of my life. I’m happy.
I chose me. I’m continuing to choose me.
And maybe next year, I may choose someone else. Or maybe I won’t
Either way, I know that I’m blooming just as God planted me.
Flowers fill my home with beauty and remind me to bloom in my own time and my own way!
Please ladies… buy yourself the flowers.