Roll the credits

So almost a week ago I heard from my ex-husband again. He sent me a photo of our divorce decree and asked if I had the stamped copy from the court.

Yeah I don’t have to look. I know exactly where my divorce decree is. Yes, of course I have a stamped copy. I did 100 percent of the paperwork, paid 100 percent of the court costs and made 100 percent of the court appearances myself

Let me look – Translates directly to I need to process this request of yours.

And I’m kind of irritated that I bit back on the Catholic thing… But I get so tired of him trying to rewrite history to suit himself…

So I thought about it…

And I said no. Actually I lied and told him I couldn’t find my paperwork. And then I gave him the contact information for the court.

I was feeling a little guilty about this… And I was driving to work thinking about it… And then something hit me.

I didn’t want to send him the paperwork, because I don’t want him to fuck up another woman’s life the way he did mine.

The fact that this woman wants him to go through her church and do things the right way… And then to see and feel his complete disrespect for her and that process…

I see him clearly now. He hasn’t changed. I’m not sure he’s capable of it…

And when I was quiet I heard the answer. I did my job.

He can now do the work… Or not.

But for us it’s the end of the line.

Something tells me I won’t be hearing from him again ( until his parents pass. )

I’m good with that. Feels like the movie credits are rolling …

For the sequel, I send every good wish to the female lead.

Choose the other guy. Heck, choose pretty much anybody else love.

Cinnys out ✌️❤️

Help

Saturday I went to the movies.

I went by myself, to a meet up group event for singles 40-50 age range. I was very nervous about going.

In the shower, I told myself that I was going to consciously think of every worst case scenario…

1- I might show up and no one would be there

2- I might show up but not find the group and have to sit alone

3- I might show up and tickets would be sold out

4- I might show up and no one would be friendly to me

That’s all I could think of.

This might sound like a negative exercise, but actually it’s extremely helpful for people who are anxious in social situations.

So the worst case scenario, I would’ve watched the movie by myself… Or I would’ve gone back home.

Either way, not really anything to be concerned with right??

But I was still nervous because that’s how I’m wired.

Another trick I’ve learned, but forgot that night… Instead of thinking you’re anxious, consider that energy excitement…

I could’ve said in my mind , or out loud, that I was excited to be going to the movies and potentially making new friends…

And repeated that until the anxiousness passed.

Actually, it would’ve been totally true. I was excited

But instead, I called my friend Jasmine who talked to me the entire way as I drove.

And my friend Darling sent me messages of support along the way too!!

How lucky am I to have this kind of love and support in my life?

By the way, if you are uncertain of making real friends off-line with people you meet here in WordPress… I will say to go for it!

I’ve had one experience that didn’t go as I would’ve hoped… But for that one experience, I have also had a handful that now are some of the biggest blessings in my life ❤️❤️❤️

Anyway… to get back on track. So I get to the movie theater and I buy my ticket. I get popcorn and a drink because I’m on a date with myself and I know I need to recognize that!

I go in the theater and I don’t see anyone. I sit by myself, and I realize that’s OK. It’s not nearly as bad or scary as I thought it was going to be.

A little while later, three women come in.. they sit behind me, and before too long we realize this was the group I was looking for!

One of them invited me to come back a row, and I did. All three were extremely nice. The girl I sat next to seemed eager to make a new friend of me, and that was nice.

The movie itself wasn’t anything spectacular. Yesterday… Being a Beatles fan I really wanted to love it, but I just didn’t.

But at the end of the day, it didn’t matter anyway.

I now feel a little more confident going to the next event… And my new friend messaged me the next day, and invited me to her church service.

It was too late for me to make it that day, but I did agree to come another time.

So I’m changing… And I’m changing my life… Step-by-step, and with a little ( Lot ) help from my friends ❤️